With Great Sadness I Write Tonite

Seven years ago or so, I become a regular in the water at a very protected spot in Laguna Beach, California. A young freckled faced kid befriended me and I quickly realized that this was a kid to be on the good side of as he lived a stone's throw from my favorite surf break. It was definitely not hard to like the kid as his good nature and friendly disposition made him stand out. I am very aggressive in the water and in competitive situations I have been known to be without smiles. This kid at ten years old had the gall to give me the nickname "Smiles" or "Smiley" and to this day it has stuck as good as any I had ever been given growing up. I call him Sammer.


If you ride the surf at this beach regularly, it is impossible not to run into Sam. I used to joke with him that he was the mayor of the beach. No joke, he had a presence about him at the beach that kind of made you think he was the beach's protector. He is the kind of kid that stops you dead in your tracks and you think, "Wow, what a tremendous young man and what a great job his parents have done". He is friendly with neighbors and return visitors to this secluded beach and it would be safe to say that he has an extended family of adults and kids who frequent the beach and look out for him. I happened to roll thru town one day, and despite knowing there was no surf, I decided to check the waves anyways. A short, gray haired man was standing outside of the gate to the Sammer's house and he was busy attacking a pile of fallen leaves in the garden with a rake. He stopped to talk with neighbors as they walked their dogs passing the house,and I decided to introduce myself and give him some hand me down clothes to give to Sam. Now I had never met Big Earl as I will call him, but I knew from Sam that he was stern and very religiously convicted. He broke into a big smile when I told him that I was smiley. I guess when your kid comes home and tells you that he surfed with Smiley you would have to wonder who this Smiley character is. I struck up a conversation with him and before you know it, I had been talking to him for 20 minutes. I got to understand his parental philosophy and concluded that his son was largely a product of a loving home with good discipline. He told me that he wanted to keep his son out of Orange County's youthful fascination with drugs, and he expressed a little worry that some of these wreckless Laguna Beach kids with little or no adult supervision, would influence his son. All parents are concerned about these things, but maybe he did not understand how well he had done with his wife to keep Sam well-grounded and respectful of adults.

As I have watched him grow up over the last few years, not only have I become like a big brother to Sam, but also I also have become his friend. He has earned every ounce of respect that I have given him and it would feel like family was missing if I showed up to my favorite beach and he was not there. Recently, I had the opportunity to include Sam in a private event at Wave House. I promised him that I would not leave him behind when we went to San Diego to ride the Flow Rider. The funny thing is Sam is a minor and we had to get Big Earl to sign a death and dismemberment permission slip so his son could ride. Somehow I think Earl knew I would make sure that he was safe and protected. I wondered though how he would respond because to this day I can picture the look on my parent's faces when I asked permission to do something dangerous.

Several months back I was told that Sam's Grandfather's (Big Earl's Dad) health was failing and that he did not have long to live. During the final days, the shocker was that Big Earl was also on limited time with a diagnosis of inoperable pancreatic cancer. Tonite, I was informed of his passing this morning. I had just worked on a paper with his son to get turned in this morning. He was in great spirits with the work we did on his essay. Knowing that Earl was sick, I was happy to help his son. In talking with Sam, I was aware that Big Earl was deteriorating fast and he did not want to see anyone. I had planned on sending a note thru his son to tell him that as long as his son wanted help or advice of any kind, that he could count on me to be there. A 16 year old kid should not lose a grandparent and a parent in a 45 day period. We don't perfectly understand God's plan for us but this provide's another example of how life can seem grossly unfair. May you rest in peace Earl, never to be forgotten and leaving cherished memories with the family you left behind so early and unexpectedly. I suspect God's got an amazing plan for you. Just know that you did a tremendous job with your kids and that you can rest easy as a proud husband and father who did things right. Your legacy will be carried on by your kids and maybe even more importantly Sam, who will shine as a big brother to his sisters and a good son to the wife and mother who must move on. I suspect he will be tested but know he will provide the support and guidance your family needs during these tough times. Rest In Peace Earl!